Naughty Words

No, this blog isn't about profanity, or words that cause offence to the listener. This blog isn't about whether fuck, cunt, asshole, prick or cocksucker are even insulting, or profane.* I don't really care if you think fuck is worse then asshole, but not as bad as cunt. I never did understand the accepted hierarchy of curse words, to be honest. I don't think fuck is a bad word at all, it's a perfectly good word-- so is cunt-- it's how you use the word that can be mean, or expressive.
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No, today I've finally gotten around to writing about this list of words I found on Alternet. It's a list of words that the government keeps an eye out for, online,-- you know, Patriot act, and terrorism and all. Reading this list made me want to compose a poem, maybe sonnet style, using these words.I never did get up the initiative, but here's a rambling look into my facilities.

Take a good look at this list. Just the first section: Domestic Security. Lemme see here, I think I used a third of those words talking about domestic violence! I'm sure a DV advocate or someone who works for shelters, like a social worker, giving a speech/writing a blog/teaching a conference would use more of them. Mitigation and Prevention are on there! So is recovery, attack and cops. Every time I've said contact the authorities or talked about death. Even when I talked about the fact that my mother regularly threatened my my life as a kid, and young adult. This is a little, shall we say, excessive, don't you think? Wait, lemme see, is excessive on here, too?!

Not even getting into my personal security here, or how uncomfortable I am with that whole "national preparedness" initiative to convince everyone to have food stock piled up, for the end, or whatever.

I wasn't even taking into account the fact that writing about the Aurora shooting, the Tucson shooting, the shooting at the Sikh temple last week, all use words from this list. When I wrote about christian fundamentalist-militia-terrorists I took words off this list. Guess I'm being watched.

Or not, I don't really care. I don't have anything to hide from the authorities, and it's not like I've done anything illegal-- especially not in my blog. Never joined a gang, nor watched a SWAT standoff. It's been awhile since my kid's schools were on lockdown for any kind of incidents. Although I would die laughing if someone showed up at my house over these naughty words.

The list does just get better and better, the farther down you read. The second section is "HAZMAT & Nuclear", so you can see where I'm going. No Fukushima, no Love Canal, no Bikini Island. No discussion of my husband's fascination with Chernobyl. Nope, none of that stuff, at all! Of course we can't talk about getting a sinus infection, or the leak you found in your radiator, either.  I won't talk about stopping to get gas or my sun exposure ending in a sun burn. Can't talk about anything biological or discuss how we're cutting out toxic chemical cleaners in our house. I can't even mention the epidemic of stupidity that seems to be rampant here in Arizona.

The last section, and this list is not exhaustive-- merely the information that could be pried out of the government-- is "Health Concern + H1N1". This one's the best section yet! No outbreak or virus exposure talk-- so all zombie games, movies, books and stories are out! Can't discuss mutations, symptoms or toxic pork pandemics. Shoot, we can't even mention agriculture's listeria problem without pinging some weird matrix for naughty words.

Can't tell you my Grandma had TB when she was young, or that Spanish Influenza killed millions. We can't talk about drug resistant MRSA, or STI's; can't tell you that I find Ebola and viruses like that absolutely amazing in their brutality! I mean, damn, liquefaction of the human body is, wow! Can't talk about the OB tampon recall of last year, or the various drug recalls that are all the time going on.

I can't even tell you about my friends in the military who got small pox vaccinations.

Finally, I can't talk about evacuations to escape the wild fires, nor the fact that I've suffered food poisoning but was thankful it wasn't salmonella. I've had the flu but never the avian variety. Never had plague or H5N1, either.

This list is hilarious, in its stupidity. Yes, I'm sure terrorists and other people seeking to cause mayhem will use these words. So will everyone else in the world! We talk about our this-person or that-person getting the flu. We talk about loving pork sandwiches, or that cute guy we saw doing the  wave at the game. We use these words all the fucking time, for nothing more sinister than discussing our recovery from that car crash we went through last year.

I've been against the Patriot Act for a long time now. I don't care what you say, the government has no right infringing on it. Yes, let the various law enforcement groups get a database together-- that's smart. Stalk Americans, resident aliens and undocumented people? Fuck no! I have the right to talk about stupid things like the fact I just learned sheep get anthrax a couple years ago-- I thought it was a dead disease like small pox-- and that humans can get it from them. Crazy shit! I think we can even transmit it human to animal, too, but I can't remember right now.

In the interest of keeping the country safe, in attempting to create a feeling of security, we The People, have let the government tell us what we can and can't say, and how we can say it. Calling a fire fighter a first responder when I tell you about the accident my husband had last year could be a red flag. Referring to the local sheriffs as the cops, law enforcement, the authorities, or even just the police is also a flag.

Can't talk about STI prevention or pain mitigation in persons dying of terminal illnesses. I can't mention the lovely explosions my character makes in Vindictus, or the nasty bad guys who have poison powers and give you toxic damage. Just in case that makes me a terrorist... I mean, shit, I could be one right now, right? Talking about all these things?

Mentioning the mutations that the various viruses go through, as they infect us; talking about symptoms. 

Pork and wave confuse me, though. Same with deaths, CDC, infection and bacteria. We live in a world surrounded by bacteria, so why can't we say it!?

Anyway, now that I've made some government kid's day by being a complete bastard-smart ass, and forced him/her to sit through my drivel, I'll close this blog.

Next time, I'll be more serious, or something.
Maybe.
Maybe I'll just find other ways to sneak these naughty, naughty words in, and bore the shit out of another schmuck!


[Aside to any poor government schmuck who has to read my drivel: Sorry dude, I know I'm not nearly as interesting as some of your more scary terrorist-y types. I guess look at my blog, and people like me, as little vacations in the middle of your otherwise depressing, threat-filled day? I hope you're a voyeur, that'll make this sooooooo much easier.]



*Technically the definition of profane is (as found on Google):
[adj] Relating or devoted to that which is not sacred or biblical; secular.
[verb]  Treat (something sacred) with irreverence or disrespect.

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