RedHead Confetti

 CW: Discussion about: domestic violence against children (perpetrated by parents/care givers) and domestic violence by a teen against an adult (against the parent/caregiver); some mental health discussion, and self-denigration and degradation.  If you are triggered by these things, read with caution or skip this one. Hello my beautiful readers, who haven't meandered off with pandemic shock. I'm still alive, and I hope you're all ok. Writing has been hard, and most of the writing I've been doing this past year is journaling. I'm hoping to write more, and am making time for it now. This one took a long time. If you, or someone you know is being abused, there is help! The Domestic Violence Hotline:   800.799.SAFE (7233) RAINN (Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network) : 1.800.656.4673 NCADV (National Coalition Against Domestic Violence) : They have a huge reference list! Now to the blog: I’ve been thinking a lot lately—over the past year or so, about the abuse I went thro...

May 14th is Mother's Day this year, in the US. While I could (and have already) wax poetic, vulgar and profane about how much I despise this holiday, how I hate that it idolizes women who have produced offspring, whether we can raise them, or even wanted them; how it ignores women who have no children-- for whatever reason-- and treats adoptive and foster parents as some how less than those of us with working uteri. So I'm not going to do that today. Today I'm going to celebrate the many different ways a person can be a mother... whether you're a woman, man, non-binary or genderqueer person, or any other way you identify your gender... you don't have to have a uterus or to have given birth to be a mother. Let's celebrate the act of mothering. To be a mother, you're giving yourself, and your love and care to a person that isn't your partner. Although, there are times we give mothering care to our partners, I am not going to talk about that righ...

I get so sick of reading shit like that! The stupidity! I mean, fuck! Why would every slide-show creator, every article writer, assume that shit! Fuck their stupid, and fuck their ignorance!! Wait, let me back up, I started off in the middle of my thoughts, rather than at the beginning where everyone can follow along. I was perusing my news feed on Facebook, as I was waiting for my daughter and her friend to finish clearing up their sleep over messes, before I took her friend home. No big deal, really, usually there's good articles about things I care about like Equality or news from the LGBT front (I especially love the wedding photos!) or Occupy, or well, the list of causes I endorse is pretty large-- I should probably blog about the crazy quilt of causes one of these days. Anyway, there's an article on the Huffington Post, " Make People Happy: 9 ways... " It's got this list of cute or nice things you can do to cheer up a friend. Stuff that's thoughtfu...

I had a dream the other night-- well, just before my alarm went off in the morning. I was dressed in a suit, with stockings and heels and sitting with a dozen other men and woman dressed the same. We were waiting for the next “class” to start, so we could finish up something or other. I was sitting next to an old friend from high school-- she had aged, changed into what my mind says she'd look like at 40. She was a Senior, back when I was in 8 th grade, and we got along amazingly well; part of it was because we were both the “youngest kids in our class”, so she knew what it was like to be treated like every one's baby sister all the time. Ronna was a good friend and I sincerely hope she got out of the cult of IFB and has a fabulous life-- she was rather irreverent, and I loved her for it. Amidst that closed atmosphere we were both stuck in, she was a breath of critical thinking.. In my dream, Ronna turned to me and said, “So, after Armageddon, and all that, then they expe...

Trigger Warning: This one meanders badly. I tried some editing, and moving things around, and I think I saved the flavour of the blog but was unable to make it more linear. I touch on abortion, mothers, and unconditional love. This might be triggering for anyone who a mother who resented them. I don't want to trigger any bad feelings or thoughts, so if you're one of the millions of us who had a mother who didn't want you, you may want to skip this one. As always, if you're in need of someone to talk to, there is help out there! Please don't think you're all alone; you aren't. You know, I wasn't going to write this one. I've been trying not to write too many intense things too close together. It seems to be hard on my mental health. But this blog keeps bouncing around in my head, trying to get out, so I guessed I needed to put fingers to keyboard, and get it down. It stems from two different things I read-- two that don't go together in a way...

“Most parents today were brought up in a culture that put a strong emphasis on being special,” [Madeline Levine] observes. “Being special takes hard work and can’t be trusted to children. Hence the exhausting cycle of constantly monitoring their work and performance, which in turn makes children feel less competent and confident, so that they need even more oversight.” ( page 2 , emphasis added) I saw a little blurb at Slate on Monday, and then Wednesday- another one at Jezebel. So I got off my ass and went over to the New Yorker to read this article, “ Spoiled Rotten, Why do children rule the roost?” I've said before that I'm not the best parent. I don't helicopter, I don't over-play or schedule; I don't ask, actually. I tell. I don't look at my children as friends of mine. In fact, not one of them would be someone I would choose to be friends with. They're too young, to immature, and their world-views, while larger than their peers, is ...