Erotica Update: Doesn't contain sexy stories...

Remember when I posted my sexy story, and talked about how I'd submitted it to a website that specialised in publishing them?

I finally heard back from them on Monday. They said no. And they said it pretty lamely, if I do say so, myself.

"Thank you very much for submitting your short story, "Strangest Dream?" to Oysters & Chocolate. Unfortunately, we have decided to pass on it at this time. Please keep us in mind in the future when sending out your work and good luck with your writing."
 
It took almost six months to get a no. I'd just about forgotten about the submission; there has been a lot going on since then. I mean, there was Thanksgiving and Yule, and New Years, and then St, Patrick's Day, and the Vernal Equinox! Then of course the kids are in school, and spring break, and now Beltaine. So yeah, I was kinda surprised to see that email show up in my email box.
 
I wasn't disappointed. Surprisingly. I thought I'd be a little crushed if they told me no, but I just shrugged and thought:
 
"So much for the 12 weeks turn around, ti's been what, fifteen, sixteen... shit! Almost six months! Not very professional of them, I think. If they need more time, or if they were swamped at the holidays then a little note with my 'Hey we got your submission' letting me know they were running behind would have been nice." <flip flip through old emails> "Yeah, I thought it said, 'up to 12 weeks'. They probably forgot all about me, and just sent me a refusal to clear out their In box."
 
That thought made me laugh. A loud. For about ten minutes! I laughed until I cried at the mental picture of someone snatching papers from a tall, tall In box and stamping "Rejected" all over them, and then throwing them into an Out box.

Yes, I know, email doesn't work that way. I don't think literally though; I think in pictures, huge sweeping landscapes of colour and shape. Those shapes are like cartoons some times, and when that happens, I laugh inappropriately about it. But hey, it's my head, so I think I can laugh if I want to.
 
I haven't been reading the site much since Yule because they went right into stupid Valentine's Day erotica. Most of it was a half-step from Harlequin Romantic, which makes me want to puke. So I thought I'd take a peek and see what they've been posting. Last time I looked was somewhere around the first of March, and I wasn't impressed with the way they're promoting the new publishing arm. Seemed like every single new story was "Excerpted from This Novel, that you can Order Here for the Low Low Price of $Too Much for an e-novella/same price as I'd pay to hold the book in my hand."
 
That gets old. Sure, except the teasers to make people want to get the book; and yes, I expect the e-novellas to help support the writers. However, that's where I differ from most authors. I don't expect any reader to pay 7 or 10 bucks for an e-book (unless it's a text book, or encyclopedia, or maybe something that was freshly translated for the reader). It's not physically in your hand, it's little pixels on your screen, little bits of information. It's not worth as much as a paperback book. Therefore, I will not pay that much for your e-novella. Sorry, your 15-thousand word story isn't worth 10 bucks to me. Even my imported trade paperbacks don't cost 10 bucks. But I think e-books are over-priced.

When I popped back over to O&C I found that it was still more about pushing their novels then publishing shorts.

And you know, that's fine. I've read a lot of erotica over the years, and it goes in cycles. As soon as the reading public gets bored, and has been saturated with seedy erotic novels about soft-core submission and spankings (oh, how naughty!) the genre will pause, regroup and go in another direction-- probably back to overly romantic bodice rippers-- I mean, take a look at the aisle at your local Barnes and Noble! Oh Good Goddess, it's terrible!

So, I say "Thanks, O&C. I didn't submit my story for money, I sent it in as a personal exercise, and I think it's fantastic. You didn't. That's cool. You missed out! Don't worry, though, I wouldn't dream of sending you anything else in the future! I'd hate to add to your backlog, being that it's almost 6 months long. That must be horrible for you, and I wouldn't dream of making it worse."





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