Weekend feature: I am pro-abortion
This one's not quite double-length, more like a matinee, I suppose.
Trigger warning:
This entry is about
abortion. Not any one specific procedure, but the truth of what
abortion is, how I support it without question, and my loathing of
any one who isn't pro-women, but calls themselves pro-life. It's not
terribly ranty, this one, but if you aren't pro-women, and pro-choice
without reservations, you might want to skip this one.
I support abortion for
any reason, at any time, up to viability (medically thought to be
about 24 weeks) or later, if the women's life is at risk, or the
foetus is not going to live. Without reservation. It's not my
business why a woman would choose that, it's only up to me to include
her in my We. We women, not them, not those ones over there. We.
I am pro-abortion. I
get so sick of hearing people say, “well, I'm pro-choice, but No
One is pro-abortion.” Some of us are! Some of us know that in order
to trust, support and leave that choice up to the owner of that
uterus, you have to be Pro-Abortion. Sometimes, Pro-Women means
Pro-Abortion.
First of all, let's
start at the very very beginning and define everything. Abortion is
the termination, the stopping, of a pregnancy before delivery of a
live, breathing infant. There are two different, distinct uses for
the word: spontaneous and therapeutic.
Spontaneous abortions
are called “miscarriages” in our vernacular, and refer to the end
of an early pregnancy without any medical intervention. These happen
most often before a woman even knows she's pregnant; her period will
be a little heavier, maybe a day or two late. Some of the numbers
I've seen on this one estimate that a quarter of all fertilised eggs
don't even implant! So much for “life begins at fertilisation”,
huh? I guess that means women of child-bearing age who aren't
currently pregnant but who are sexually active are potential mass
murderers?
Of course, sometimes
she knows she's pregnant, and wanted the pregnancy to continue; when
that happens, we are sad with her, for the stoppage of a potential
person who was being eagerly awaited. Yes, I'm sure that sounds cold,
and I don't mean it that way. I lost a wanted pregnancy; I mourned
the idea of that person, but I never felt like a person died. Maybe
I'm just an asshole, I don't know.
When this happens later
in the pregnancy, often the family and doctors will call it a “still
birth”, but it's still, technically, an abortion.
The second definition,
the one most often guaranteed to cause a knee-jerk reaction, is the
intentional stoppage of that pregnancy, through medical or surgical
intervention. This can happen a number of ways, from treating an
ectopic pregnancy with medication to stop it and save the life of the
woman, to the two-day luminaria-delivery process necessary for a
foetus with catastrophic medical problems that are incompatible with
life [this sterile phrase usually means the foetus is already dead,
won't live, has no brain, no face, no something that is necessary, or
if the pregnancy is continued, the foetus will be in severe and
horrible pain for the short time it does live after birth. This is
unacceptable to most people-- we would never torture our children for
our own dogmatic martyrdom.]
The vast majority of
therapeutic abortions take place within seven or eight weeks of the
first day of the woman's last period. The “gestational age” of
the zygote is about five weeks. This means it's this |-| long, and
can't be seen as different and distinct from a blot clot without a
powerful microscope. Contrary to the anti-women protesters, those
photos don't represent abortions at all, but later still births,
covered in fake blood, or photo-shopped. The products of an abortion
don't look like those itty bitty plastic babies they like to hand
out. They look more like a period clot-- if you see anything at all.
Don't tell the anti's
that, though. They won't believe you. They'll tell you that Satan has
filled your mind with lies, clouded your heart, or something equally
horrible sounding! That the "abortionists" (I still don't know what the
fuck is up with that word) have lied to you, and that some how the
zygote that was fertilised three weeks ago, and just barely
implanted, the one that will kill you, the one you don't want because
you have kids at home; the one you can't raise because you just
can't! That zygote, they'll tell you, is a Baby!!
Riiiiight...
I have nothing but
scorn for anti-women activists. I won't call them pro-lifers. See, if
they were pro-life, they'd work to provide contraception to everyone,
along with comprehensive sex ed-- rather than picket Planned
Parenthoods, they'd be donating time and money to get the word out,
handing out condoms and pill packs by the bucket-full instead of holding signs.
If they were really
pro-life, they'd work to repair the fraying social safety-net. Food
stamps, TANF, ADC, WiC, child support, head start, child care, good
health insurance, low cost housing in good neighbourhoods, good
schools... oh, wait, we can't have that! Come on, infant, now that
you're breathing, you're on your own. Fuck you and your mother 'til
you're 18 years old! Then you can join the military, and those
so-called pro-lifers will love you again. And don't you dare think
you should get some help! You can't have their money supporting you!
You're a leech on society, if you think you should get some help.
They would punish women
for having sex by forcing us to give birth. These anti's see
pregnancy as punishment for being whores, sluts, for thinking for
ourselves, and believing we're more than the sum of our reproductive
parts. Pregnancy and Motherhood are punishment. Remember that.
They are pro-birth.
They are anti-women. They are anti-child. They give less than a shit
about any of those zygotes they call “babies!!!” (yes, they
always say it in this wailing way that adds at least two exclamation
marks to the word). They want to control every single woman out
there, to keep us broke, stupid, uneducated and pregnant, making
babies for rich, white, Christians to adopt. You notice, these people
who protest at PP's or women's clinics, they tend to be waaaaay too
old to have kids themselves. [Or, horror of horrors, they bring their
children with them! Oh Gods, that ought to be illegal!]
If they were pro-life,
they would be anti-war, anti-abortion and anti-death penalty; they
would be pro-contraception, pro-education and pro-woman. Rarely, very
very rarely will you see them be all three. I can think of one group
of nuns in the US who I know are all three. I can't think of their
Order name right now, but you hear about them some times in the news,
when they get arrested protesting nuclear warheads, and when they
protested the war in Iraq and Afghanistan. Those ladies get arrested
all the time! But that's it. Just them.
[Note: I have a thing
about the RCC's treatment of women, and find them lacking in even the
most basic of human empathy based on their behaviour with regards to
the sexual torture of countless children in their charge. My one
admiring statement about the church, comes in reference to these
women. They actually put themselves, their bodies, where their mouth
is. I still think they are dogmatically and theologically bankrupt;
however I can respect that they are trying, in their own way, to live
the way they think their Jesus would be happy with-- ergo, they're
real Christians. Now, if we could just get them out of the RCC and
thinking for themselves, just imagine the force they'd be! Oh, well,
a girl can dream, can't she? Remember, Senator Frothy, is a Catholic, and considered to be a good
one, dogmatically, theologically correct. And yes, I will keep linking that blog every single time I mention his name. He's a vile little shit-stain and I enjoy participating in the Google-bombing.]
Those fuckers at
Operation Rescue, or the other Right To Life groups... Let's just say
I'm surprised they walk upright. Actually, that's not being fair to
monkeys, even though I loathe and despise monkeys (they freak me out,
I don't know why)... I don't know if I can make a comparison to
anything and not insult that thing. Shit, even little salamanders and
newts are kinda cute... and I like snakes and spiders. Hmmm,
cockroaches? Leeches? Viruses, like Ebola? I could call them Ebola...
they do sorta infect the people around them, after all.
Now, the arguments to
support a woman's right to choose what to do with her body, they're
super simple, and so really don't need a lot of explanation:
It's
her body! She's alive, thinking, sentient, and has autonomy!
Therefore she can choose what to do with her body. Period.
I don't care if she
goes in every other month to have an abortion. Her choice, her body.
I don't know why she would, they're expensive, but if you ask the
anti's, every woman who's ever gone into Planned Parenthood, we get
abortions every month, and a party, and baby-flavoured doughnuts, and
some sacrifice to the gods of “we hate babies, muwahahahaha”.
They think every woman is an evil bitch, who just can't wait to get
down to PP or the clinic and get her uterus scraped! It's like a
mani-pedi, an outing, I guess a fun girls-day out?
I've never been able to
get an explanation of exactly what it is that we're supposed to be
doing in the PP's. Women who get cancer screenings, our yearly exams,
Paps, and breast exams, even mammograms; those of us who get our
pills there, our IUD's, implants, patches and rings, shots and
information packets, even pre-natal medical care. PP's, Women's
clinics, they're free-standing little doctor's offices; you can get
just about anything done there, including male sterilisation!
But, of course,
according to the anti-women fuckers, we're there for one thing, and
one thing only: To sacrifice our Babies!!! on the altar of our egos,
in the name of Satan!!!
And that doesn't even
get into the bits about how we'll all be so depressed afterwards that
we'll kill ourselves. Or how we'll get cancer. Or be sterile. “Take
that,” their god says. “Take that, and that, and that! Be
punished for beings a slut! You Slutty Sluts, you!!”
I learned the other day
that about 77% of all the leaders in the anti-choice movement are
men. (Protect Choice, by way of Moveon.org). I knew there were more men,
but I didn't realise there were three times more men.
Think about that for a
second. Three-quarters of the Leaders of the anti-women activism in
the US are men.
These men are
physiologically unable, completely incapable, of getting pregnant.
If they are date-raped,
they will not risk pregnancy.
If their uncle or
grandfather rapes them, they will not risk pregnancy.
They can take Plan B
the “morning after” and never risk pregnancy.
If their condom breaks,
or their body reacts in such a way as to ignore the Pill*, they will
not risk getting pregnant.
If their partner is
abusive, and refuses to use contraception, these men will not risk
pregnancy.
You notice I'm using
the word risk...
Being pregnant is risky
for women. It can kill us. And if carrying the pregnancy to term
doesn't, we can still die delivering. Yes, die! We can be permanently
injured, in a coma, paralysed, dead.
We can lose our health,
our teeth, our hair. Our bone mass goes down and our bones soften,
and we can have trouble with our bowels and abdominal wall muscles
for the rest of our life. Our blood pressure goes up, and we can get
diabetes. Being pregnant isn't anything like you see in the movies.
It's a dangerous thing-- for women who were perfectly healthy before
hand. I'm not even taking into account women who have Type 1 or 2
diabetes before they're pregnant; women who have heart problems, who
have liver disease, who have HIV/AIDS, or any other transmittable
disease.
But these men, they
tell us we have to be pregnant; we can't avoid it by using
contraception, and we can't get abortions when that contraception
doesn't work.
Because they said so!
Their god told them! Besides, they can help you! With a pack of
diapers, and maybe some baby clothes! Because everyone knows babies
only need a couple diapers and some onesies and they're set til
they're 18 years old... [My sarcasm is killing me here. I want to
laugh at the stupid, but cry at the same time.]
And you should just
give it up for adoption anyway. If you're white, relatively pretty,
and young, that is. They can help you give the resulting baby away to
the best white, well-off, Christian couple they can find...
Right, the adoption
part
I will say right now,
that adoption is the single most self-less act a woman can do. Forget
dying for someone, she's choosing to place the infant she carried in
her own body, with some other family. That's a big fucking deal, and
anyone who pretends it's as easy as giving away a goldfish deserves
to have his testicles cut off/ovaries cut out, with a spoon.
It's a big deal to
willingly choose to give your child to someone else to raise, knowing
that person will love that child completely. It's completely
unselfish and, in my opinion, the ultimate act of love, to place your
infant with someone who can give them the care that you can't.
Any woman who does
that, is a fucking hero! And fuck you to anyone who says she's
anything less than that.
And to the RCC, and
other churches who took the babies from women without their consent,
or permission. The ones who tormented the “girls who went away”,
the ones who threatened and in some places out-right kidnapped those
infants: Fuck you, you pricks! Fuck you all to hell! And take your
dogma with you!
That being said, not
everyone can do that. Some of us might be able to, but we aren't
sure. Some of us know damned well we can't. And some women, that's
their first thought. And that is absolutely OK.
That's why we have this
little thing, it's called choice...Really, that's what choice is.
Knowing you can terminate the pregnancy, knowing you can place the
infant for adoption, knowing you can keep and raise it yourself.
These are the choices. They are huge, really, these choices. Fucking
Gigantic! Every one can be a complete life-changer.
Choosing to have an
abortion is most often made as an act of love, believe it or not.
Women who already have kids and who know we can't take care of
another one, choose to love our living kids with everything we have,
and have an abortion. Yes, that was a potential person. Potentially.
If it grew, and matured, and in my opinion, breathed. But, we have
these kids who are right there in front of us, who need us, who need
to be fed and clothed and cared for-- and another one, we just
couldn't do that.
For some women,
choosing to have an abortion is the best thing we can choose. It's
best for us, for our lives, for our health, and for our kids.
Sometimes it's easy.
Sometimes, it's hard.
Sometimes we think
about it for days, and other time, we know right away what we need to
do.
We choose to abort
because our lives demand action from us; we are escaping a violent
relationship; we are dealing with the after affects of partner-rape;
we know the zygote will have a disease like MD, or sickle-cell
anaemia or Tay-sacks. We know the medication we're on will cause
catastrophic and horrific birth defects, and the contraception we
were so careful about didn't work. We know we can't stop taking our
medication because we have cancer, or depression, or a heart problem,
but taking it will do awful things to the foetus. We know that we
can't feed another mouth on our income; or that we will lose our
income completely. We know we will die.
So we make the choice
that's best for us. The choice, no matter what is is, that is right
for us. The choice that we often wish we weren't asked to make. The
choice we tried so fucking hard not to be in the position to have to
decide. The choice that we took the pill, wore a patch, used condoms
and spermicide, wore an IUD, even avoided sex altogether, in order
not to have to make.
But we make that
choice. Every day. And it affects us, even if we don't share it with
you. We are thankful, relieved, elated, excited, happy, sad,
regretful, down on ourselves. We are all of these things, and none of
them, no matter what we choose.**
We are here.
We are alive. Full of
thoughts, and dreams, and plans.
We are women, and it's
our choice. Our bodies carry the scars of giving birth, not men's.
If you don't have a
uterus, there is really only one thing you can do. I'll tell you,
trust me, it's the best choice for you. Write it down, and carry it
with you.
Gotcher pen and paper?
Ready?
You say, “It's not my
body. It's your body. What do you choose? Whatever choice you make, I
will be there for you, and hold your hand. I will help with money,
and time, and myself. No matter what you choose.”
You stand with us,
supporting out choices, even if you don't like them.
You use a condom every
time you have sex if you're not in a relationship where you're both
happily and actively trying to have children.
You remember that those
men who yell at us, calling us whores because we use the Pill, those
men, if they could get pregnant, would make sure that abortions were
freely dispensed at every 7-11! But because only women get pregnant,
they will do all they can to make sure abortions are as hard to get
as possible. They will kill us, kill our doctors, shut down our
medical clinics, call us names and attack us. They will take our
contraception from us, prevent us from using Plan B, fire bomb out
clinics, make up Wanted posters, and stalk doctors and nurses.
Stand with us. We need
you with us, just like we need to stand together.
Women who aren't
pro-choice. If it's your religion, take ten minutes and find me where
abortion is prohibited in the Bible. I'll wait.
Before you pull out
that Psalm, remember that the singer was writing words into the mouth
of your God. He was singing and giving thanks, to his god, back when
humans had no idea how procreation worked, and thought sperm planted
little people inside women's bellies to grow like corn.
Find anything? No?
Nothing?
You're right, actually.
The closest thing you'll find is Numbers 5:11-31, often called the
adultery test. Basically if your husband gets jealous and thinks
you're fucking around on him, he can drag you to the priest. The
priest will make up a magical potion, and if you've slept around,
will cause you to have an abortion. If not, well, then the magical
potion won't curse you.
Huh... isn't that
something. The Bible tells us husbands can basically force a woman to
have an abortion if he get jealous. Even today most men wouldn't
dream of doing such a horrible thing! I mean, fuck, how barbaric!
Doesn't say anything
about not having one. Doesn't say foetuses are human, either. They
aren't considered human and alive until they had been named, about
30-45 days after their birth, during the sacrifice of cleansing, and
purifying them and their mother. God didn't give them a spirit until
they breathed. If a pregnant woman is hurt and the foetus dies, the
father of the foetus gets a property replacement price, not a blood
price. (That means the foetus was worth say, as much as a chair,
rather than a person demanding life for life).
So, stop being so
sanctimonious and stand with us. Or get a new religion... one that
expressly prohibits abortion, because, not even Roman
Catholicism was anti-abortion at first. That started later, as
backlash against liberalisation (isn't that always the way.
Supposedly it's due to liberalisation that priests raped the shit out
of thousands, possibly millions of children, too. Just ask Senator Frothy and the Pope!)
I don't care if you
disagree. I'm OK with that.
I'm OK if you think
abortion is the worst thing eveh! If so, what are you going to
do about it? Stand there, calling me a murderer? Shoving bloody foetus photos in my face? Screaming obscenities at innocent women?
Or working to educate women, inform girls, provide contraception and opportunities?
Or working to educate women, inform girls, provide contraception and opportunities?
Until these
anti-choicers, anti-women, anti-life people start working to reduce
abortions though education and contraception, they are the murderers.
They are murdering women and girls every time one of us dies due to
abortion-complications. Every time one of us dies in a dirty room, in
a back ally, in a kitchen, on a floor. Every time one of us dies, is
maimed, hurt, harmed and broken, it's their fault.
Every time.
*Yes, some women have
the unique ability to take the Pill every single day, at exactly the
same time, so-called perfect use, and still get pregnant. We don't
know why, it just happens. The same way that the Morning after pill
only works 87% of the time, the Pill doesn't work for everyone, and
often you don't know, until you're pregnant. Congratulations!?
** There are some
persons who claim having an abortion causes regret, depression and
ill mental health; however most women experience relief when they
have an abortion. We're more likely to regret carrying the pregnancy
(maybe we should have placed them for adoption, someone out there has
to be better at raising them than we are! Right?) due to lost
opportunities, or feeling like we're lousy parents, than to regret an
abortion. It's just not considered OK to admit that sometimes, we
wish we weren't mothers. Sometimes we don't regret anything.
There is no catch-all
sad emotion you can pin on a woman who chooses to terminate a
pregnancy, just like you can't pin any one happy one on a woman who
carries it to term and chooses to raise the resulting child.
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