SWERFs and TERFs aren’t really Radical Feminists

I was up at 3am, feeding kittens, when out of nowhere the thought hit me: SWERFS and TERFS aren’t really radical feminists.

In the nature of middle-of-the-night thoughts, much like shower-thoughts, this one seemed apropos of nothing, but there it was. Fully formed, almost like a rallying cry.

As I tried to still my mind and go back to sleep, this thought spun around and around my mind. And I know, I’m setting up a No True Scotsman here, so bear with my while I explain what I mean, and why I believe that deliberate exclusion is the antithesis of feminism.  

(NB. I also believe that unintentional exclusion is the antithesis of feminism. However, unintentional exclusion is easier to rectify, and usually the persons doing the excluding are eager to address that marginalizing behaviour and take steps to ensure it doesn’t happen again.)

The way I hear these acronyms is:

Sex-Worker-Exclusionary. Radical-Feminist.

And

Trans-Exclusionary. Radical-Feminist.

[Person]-Excluding. Radical Feminist.

Exclusive. Feminism.

Persons are being excluded from something calling itself Radical Feminism… and feminism isn’t exclusionary. The entire idea of exclusion, or leaving people out, of purposefully removing others, of actually, purposefully “Othering” someone is against the entire notion and ideals of feminism.

The idea of feminism is often explained (quickly and concisely, albeit it with limitations) as “…[T]he radical idea that women are people” (by Marie Shear, reviewing Kramarae and Treichler's A Feminist Dictionary in the news journal New Directions for Women, volume 15, issue 3 (May/June 1986), page 6).*

Once more for those in the back: “Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.”

If women are people, and I truly believe we are, then how can feminism, a movement meant to lift up, support and bring equity to all people, be exclusionary?

Now, the acronym TERF has been around for a while. TERF was coined, or at least as far back as I found, in 2008, by Viv Smythe, a supporter of Transwomen inclusion in feminism. SWERF was one I didn’t see until 2017 or 2018. I did a quick Google search, and found an article from early 2018 talking about SWERF as a current thing—so I think it’s safe-ish to say that it’s a couple years old, at least.

The ideals behind TERFs and SWERFs are much older than their web-format-shorthand though. Growing up, transwomen weren’t talked about or discussed in any way in my home or community. I didn’t know it was possible to be assigned one gender at birth, and yet identify as another (or none at all) until I was in my mid-teens. I must have been about 15, as we were in Germany at the time. It took a couple of years more before I learned enough about the realities of being a transperson, the medical science behind it, and the emotional and mental toll that it takes on transpersons, to even begin to understand.

I can’t remember exactly how I first learned about transpersons, but I do know that I was told “oh, he’s just a drag queen”, by my bigoted mother when we saw a beautiful transwoman on the television. I remember something about an interviewer asking about her transition (they called it sexual reassignment surgery back then), but I can’t tell you who she is, or what I was watching. I knew what a drag queen was: an entertainer, so I didn’t think anything of that explanation for a while. 

The memory is very fuzzy, so I don’t think I was even paying attention to the programme.

Drag Queens, even in my home that was bound and gagged by religious hatred against The Other, were amazing, talented people. Their clothes and make-up were to be admired, their singing or dancing (or both) were enviable, and they themselves, were pretty amazing, all around. I can’t really explain why this was the case, I honestly don’t know.

It might be, because my mother has had a life-long love affair with hair and makeup. It might be just because drag queens weren’t competition in her eyes. It might just be that for her, they were in the “This is OK” column, along with other, strangely anti-fundamentalist religious things, like short hair for women, make-up, multiple ear piercings, and wearing jeans and shorts. I was raised by a person who, while deeply troubled, did have the same problem with cognitive biases that everyone else has: we like what we like, and we don’t like what we don’t like. Even when it doesn’t make any logical sense at all. (That might be why she loved some “secular” pop music, and absolutely loathed “Christian Contemporary Music”).

Later, in my early 20’s, I became friends with someone who was “all that is man”. You know the type, manly-man with full beard, former service member (insert “Hoo-rah” joke here), now a hunting guide and camper and all that outdoorsy stuff. I’ll call them “Cameron”, even though that’s not their name (it’s a gender neutral name, which is why I chose it). Cameron was obviously struggling with some inner deamons, and our ,mostly online friends group was supportive and loving, and when they came out as non-binary, we were super supportive, and always worked to use they pronouns, never dead-name them. You know, the stuff you do when you care about someone.

Over the next year, Cameron came to the realization, that They were really a She. Again, we supported her, and I remember doing a lot of research into how transgenderism worked. On a personal level, I was so excited for her—she found herself! I was trying to find my own self, and so it meant so much to me that she could do it in her 40’s, so maybe I would get there too. Plus, I loved her, she was my friend, and so I wanted her to be happy, fulfilled and content in her own skin.

Maybe I’m being overly effusive, but I really was excited for her journey, and looked forward to seeing where she could go next. Commiseration with “second puberty”, learning about how awesome pickle juice is, and clothing and make up advice filled our emails to each other (she lived in MT back then). We lost touch, it was the early 2000’s after all, and even emails weren’t the greatest way to keep in touch. I remember though, what I learned in order to help—even if it was just “What do I not do, not to fuck with her! I want to be a good friend!”

All of this digression is to say that as I grew into my 20’s and beyond, I learned a great deal about what transpersons go through. I’ll never say that I “totally understand”, because I can’t. I’m a genderqueer, female-bodied person, so for me, being mostly female in my mental gender, and comfortable with being AFAB, I can’t fully understand. I can empathise, and I can work to more understand, to be open and welcoming, and to be an ally. I also know that my limitations are always going to be there—because I’m comfortable with my inside gender, and my outside gender. For me, I’m lucky, and there isn’t any dysphoria. No one has treated me as though I’m a boy, I just don’t “realise” it, or “accept” it.

As an adult I’ve had the honour to know many amazing LGBT+ people, amongst them, one of my adopted kids, who is a transman, and who is growing into an amazing guy! When he came out to me I thanked him for being authentic and vulnerable, and told him I was proud of him. I know how hard it can be to come out, to tell people who you love, who might reject an integral part of you…and so I was honoured and humbled that he would feel safe to come out to me.

Not one of the transpersons I have met deserved to be excluded from feminism. Not one deserved to be other-ised, or castigated, but welcomed and accepted. I can’t wrap my head around any reason why exclusionary feminism should exist, let along excluding transwomen (and feminist transmen!)

Every single person deserves equity and equality.

If you need to exclude someone (or an entire body of someones) from your version of feminism, then it’s not feminism. It’s something twisted, a parody, but not feminism.

The same applies to those who call themselves feminists but choose to actively exclude women (and it seems like it’s always women) who are sex workers. By excluding women who are sex workers, usually with a Puritanical, anti-porn stance, SWERFs are degrading the very gender they claim to want to uplift.

I understand that sex work is a deeply controversial field. Women who are escorts and sex workers, make porn, who are “cam girls”, professional Dominatrices, sell panties, or photos, and more, are empowering themselves, and feel empowered by their work. And it is work. It’s emotional labour; it’s physical labour. It is work. And anyone who denies that denies their personhood and experiences.

By choosing to exclude, those who are “exclusionary RadFems” are doing themselves, and all women, a disservice. They are perpetuating the very patriarchy they claim to want to dismantle. They are victimizing the very people feminism is supposed to elevate. Instead, they are taking their place, under the umbrella of the patriarchy, where the “good girls” are.

“Good girls”, white, middle-and-upper-class, heterosexual, cis-women; often married to men, often Christian (of one form or fashion). These are the WASPs, the “white women” of the “missing white women syndrome”. They’re the “legitimate rape victims”, the “innocents”. They’re “better”, “need to be protected”, and benefit from the patriarchy, often while denying that it even exists. If they admit that it’s there, they pretend that their existence is outside of it, their experiences decry it, and they don’t have “white privilege”.**

Their status as “good girls” means they’re the perfect wives and mothers. They’re the women who police other women, to ensure that we “stay in line”, and “dress and act appropriately”. They perpetuate dress codes that punish girls and women more harshly than men, for being “distracting”. They uphold social conventions that call women sluts, whores, bitches and teases. They ask “what were you wearing?” and “how much did you drink?” They say, men accused of rape “couldn’t possibly do that, he’s a great guy!” They work to take away reproductive rights, and undermine the very social safety net that ensures other women might want to carry a pregnancy to term, but can’t for financial reasons.

They also support the patriarchy in other, more insidious ways, by actively working against equal rights, and reproductive justice. They are the women-MRA’s (men’s rights activists), the women white supremacists, supporters of the CPM (Christian Patriarchy Movement)—often in the guise of “protecting families”. They deny women of colour the basic rights of self-determination. They deny that women of colour are raped and assaulted at higher rates than white women, that they are incarcerated more frequently, and that police treat them without dignity and more harshly. That our so-called justice system (ACAB!!) is warped toward protecting white women at the expense of women of colour, and all persons of colour.

They’re Good Girls. And Good Girls don’t like porn. Good girls don’t accept sex work as existing. They turn their anger at being threatened by the status quo they embrace upon women they consider beneath themselves—and punish us harshly for being sluts, whores, and bitches—in other words, we’re punished for not being them.

They punish transwomen most harshly—for having the audacity of being their authentic selves… something these Good Girls can’t do.

How do I know these things about Good Girls?

Who am I to judge them so harshly?

I am, after all a liberal snowflake, right?

A liberal, anarchist, pansexual, gender-queer-femme. An atheist, a hedonist. I support reproductive justice, know that Black Lives Matter, that white privilege exists, and that woman are fully humans. I am a Feminist, with a capital F. I work for a non-profit and support animal rights, and protection. I believe that climate change is real, and humans caused it. I know that sex is fun, and consent is sexy. I am everything that Good Girls are not. I’m actually the kind of slut that is held up as an object lesson to Good Girls in-waiting… everything they are supposed to fear, shun and avoid.

I was raised to be a Good Girl.

I was taught, at home, school and church to be good. To always be good. To put men first, to make sure that they were never uncomfortable, or “tempted” by my existence. I was taught that systemic discrimination and bigotry weren’t real, that Christians were the “most persecuted group in America”, and that the LGBT+ community were “in active rebellion” to the god I was taught to fear. I was taught that virginity was my only real worth, that if I wasn’t a virgin on my wedding night, I was disgusting. Without a man to protect me, I was at risk, I was not “in my rightful place”… I was in rebellion to that same god, and I was risking my eternal salvation.

I was force fed a diet of “modesty”, told how “good girls” behave, and expected to be responsible for the actions and thoughts of all the men and boys around me. I was expected to take my place among the Good Girls, as an adult, and become a cultural enforcer of those toxic, disgusting and disturbing ideals.

When I rebelled against my proper place I was shunned, ostracized and threatened with “god’s protection” being removed.

But I grew, thrived, and succeeded at being a happy, independent woman. I threw away the Good Girl ideals, and found the way to being a good woman, a good ally, a good friend, mother, spouse and partner, and more.

I found out how scary it is to be radical, to be so dedicated to change, to bringing about good things for all, and to own that terror, even while screaming to the skies about how important it is to keep going. I learned that being radical meant “not being in agreement with the status quo” and “agitating for change, even at the expense of any privilege I have”—and being more than OK with it, being excited to see how far our tide of change could raise all the ships!

I found all of these beautiful things in the inclusiveness of feminism. I’ve found so much more there, too! I found dreams, and hopes, work and tears, frustration and anger that galvanizes me. I’ve found love and acceptance, warmth and care. I found myself…

I know, if I could find these things in feminism, the Inclusive and Radical Feminism, than so can everyone else.

Exclusion doesn’t belong in Feminism. Only inclusion, love and the promise to work together. To lift each other, support each other, and when necessary, cry with each other as you gather your strength to keep fighting.

Never, never exclusion.

TERFs and SWERFs are not Feminists. They’re the opposite…And we need to loudly, forcefully repudiate them, at every turn.

They don’t speak for me, in my radical feminism.

They don’t speak for any truly radical feminist—because at its heart, feminism is fucking radical.

*Thank you Wikiquote’s article on Feminism. Accessed 24 April 2019. I wanted to ensure that I attributed it correctly.  https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Feminism,

**Yes, I used scare quotes around white privilege for a reason. The women who benefit from it the most often accuse us liberal women of “suffering white guilt” and “making it all about yourselves”, when in fact, they desperately need for the patriarchy to stand in order to maintain their own status.