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The Predator's Smile

While I grew up with a television centric family, I’ve gradually stopped watching it, and for about the last 15-20 years I’ve only kept a peripheral eye on it. I love cartoons, and good movies, but I just can’t sit still for them anymore. It’s not like I have to be moving, moving, but I just get bored sitting there, staring, and find myself picking up a book. I used to do that when I was a kid, and into my 20’s too. If the television was on, the volume was low, and it was background noise while I read, or played a pc game, or did something else. I’ve always been bad about remembering when a show was on, even the ones I like, and so I tend to miss a lot of pop culture. I always shrugged it off, and figured that as long as I watched the news, I was ok. I might have missed some references, but I didn’t miss them. However, for about 5 years I have avoided watching news videos—whether live or on YouTube/Twitter/etc. I’ve judiciously read the news, avoiding photographs of the VIPs in the
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I was a bad kid... meandering thoughts on growing up in the 80's

 CW: Discussion about: domestic violence against children (perpetrated by parents/care givers) and domestic violence by a teen against an adult (against the parent/caregiver); some mental health discussion, and self-denigration and degradation.  If you are triggered by these things, read with caution or skip this one. Hello my beautiful readers, who haven't meandered off with pandemic shock. I'm still alive, and I hope you're all ok. Writing has been hard, and most of the writing I've been doing this past year is journaling. I'm hoping to write more, and am making time for it now. This one took a long time. If you, or someone you know is being abused, there is help! The Domestic Violence Hotline:   800.799.SAFE (7233) RAINN (Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network) : 1.800.656.4673 NCADV (National Coalition Against Domestic Violence) : They have a huge reference list! Now to the blog: I’ve been thinking a lot lately—over the past year or so, about the abuse I went thro
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Meandering thoughts on Authenticity: What is authenticity, to me? How can I act authentically and still be kind and compassionate?

This was the basis of a “daily meditation” with an app I use. I do strive to meditate every day, as I feel it’s good for my brain. My brain is always going a million miles a minute, and I’m always thinking about different things, paths of thought and pondering, so meditation forces me to stop—just stop the rumination—something that feels like ice skating up Mt Everest sometimes. But rumination, or the propensity to ruminate, has been found to be a signifier of depression, or perhaps a symptom of depressive people—and so it’s something that I try to keep a handle on.* Rumination is, at its most basic, “chewing over a problem” but never actually dealing with it, or finding a solution. Depression is good at this one; all you can see is the problem, but you can’t actually problem-solve your way through whatever triggered that ruminating. So, my meditation today. Authenticity with compassion and restraint… can you be authentically yourself and still be compassionate, still show
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What health care will you let me choose for you?

Warning: This blog is ranty, it contains sarcasm, anger and profanity. It discusses abortion rights. If you can't handle that, this one isn't for you. So, I’ve been thinking about this for a few weeks now. It started with the Ohio and Missouri heart-beat bills, compounded with the travesty coming out of Alabama, and came to a boil with Georgia’s “Hold my beer” bill. Each of these, and mind you this isn’t all of them, are bills that specifically ban abortion care. Each of these is couched as a way to “protect babies”, but treats women like an afterthought—if they think of us, at all! We have been reduced to incubators, to hosts, to objects. And to say I’m angry, or pissed, is probably the understatement of the century. [NB: You can see an article here , discussing all abortion bills that have passed, or are being taken up, on state level. Not all of them ban it. Some actually protect it. For your edification.] I read “The Handmaid’s Tale” when I was a kid. I had t
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SWERFs and TERFs aren’t really Radical Feminists

I was up at 3am, feeding kittens, when out of nowhere the thought hit me: SWERFS and TERFS aren’t really radical feminists. In the nature of middle-of-the-night thoughts, much like shower-thoughts, this one seemed apropos of nothing, but there it was. Fully formed, almost like a rallying cry. As I tried to still my mind and go back to sleep, this thought spun around and around my mind. And I know, I’m setting up a No True Scotsman here, so bear with my while I explain what I mean, and why I believe that deliberate exclusion is the antithesis of feminism.   (NB. I also believe that unintentional exclusion is the antithesis of feminism. However, unintentional exclusion is easier to rectify, and usually the persons doing the excluding are eager to address that marginalizing behaviour and take steps to ensure it doesn’t happen again.) The way I hear these acronyms is: Sex-Worker-Exclusionary. Radical-Feminist. And Trans-Exclusionary. Radical-Feminist. [Pe
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